The Goings-on Between Patient and Psychiatrist

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What you think you know of me, you’ve gleaned

from pages of a yellow legal pad stained with sterile ink

leaked

from your doctor’s pen;

it’s an emotionless affair, the goings-on between patient and psychiatrist.

 

I’m a mistress in hysterics seeking validation from

just another goddamned man.

If this

were the nineteenth century, you’d have long sent me

to an asylum

and had my womb mutilated by staff surgeons.

 

When I speak, you scribble,

and I imagine you’re only illustrating me naked,

sprawled upon the divan, jaundice skinned and lined with blue.

 

“Make me a whole person,”

you write

inside

a comic book word bubble inserted

right above my over-sized head.

 

Yes, I know what you’re up to,

but I continue talking about how I feel since learning

my mother

had woken up dead, and the gut-raping grief inside of me,

because I do want to be a whole person.

 

It’s an emotionless affair, the goings-on between patient and psychiatrist.


© 2019

Published by Kindra M. Austin

Author of fiction, poetry, and very sweary social commentary. Editor, and co-founder of Indie Blu(e) Publishing. Co-founder of Blood Into Ink, and Heretics, Lovers, and Madmen.

22 thoughts on “The Goings-on Between Patient and Psychiatrist

  1. Reblogged this on SPO_OKY and commented:
    Kindra. She writes of love and life and of death in a way that moves me, makes me think, makes me FEEL. It’s not the only reason that I hold her in such high regard. I love her.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Very vivid imagery and wow!

    You know…I’ve tried psychiatry once in my life.
    I never enjoyed throwing my emotions at some man who just writes and doesn’t give any good advice. It’s the same with all psychiatrist. I mean if it works for some good, but not for me.

    You did an incredible job writing and describing this so well.

    Miss you Kindra. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

        1. ❤ I listen to a lot of music as well. I'm actually returning to human status after a long depression. I'm on new meds that make me sleepy, but I'm smiling a lot more, so that's a plus. I'm busy working on a horror/fantasy that I plan to pitch to literary agents. I'm taking my time with it, and enjoying writing it very much.

          Like

  3. Show no reaction they taught
    Maintain that “therapeutic distance”
    Leave humanity at home
    “Make me a whole person”
    Says the patient
    How can the disease
    The one documented
    On the yellow pad
    Ever be the whole person?

    Liked by 1 person

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