Assholes

Alarm clock screams. You’re awake, mind rushing. A happy hand silences the noise, and you say, “Who can I fuck with today?” Because you don’t have anything better to do– like say, your job. You have decent employment that pays your bills, and offers health insurance at a reasonable rate. It’s still cool to bash

Catch a Chronic Illness

If you don’t have a chronic illness, I suggest you find one, grab hold of it, and hand over control. Life is much simpler when you have something legitimate to blame. If you feel like cutting out of work early, your illness is the best excuse to walk out in the middle of your shift,

A Radical Proposal

Sickness hovers heavy over America–the political and religious vitriol, explosive diarrhea. Civil liberties and the pursuit for more have only upset the belly of this great nation. Eliminate freedom, and be rid of the shit storm. Simple. Let us formally unite the church and state, and embrace a government dictated by Christian theocracy. I propose

Mumpty Me

mump-ty* adjective stunning ill-temperament comprised of moodiness, grumpiness, and cuntiness “Kindra Austin is a mumpty old lady.” synonyms:  tetchy, waspish, ornery, asshole   *moody/grumpy/cunty: Mumpty is a word cleverly created by Stuart McEwan of the Forge.

Popular High School Bitches: a how-to guide

This is something I began a few years ago, but haven’t yet finished. Popular High School Bitches:  A Rundown Popular high school bitches have names such as, but not limited to Courtney, Tiffany, Britney and Jessica; they’re all eerily similar to one another, as if they’re specially designed, programmed, and manufactured in some kind of