Serenity Now

Four hours of my life I will never get back. Thank you, Michigan/Michigan State game. I was perfectly happy with my earbuds, listening to Lana Del Rey, but my husband kept tapping my shoulder, because for some reason unknown to me, he thought I gave an actual fuck about first downs and whatnot. I cannotContinue reading “Serenity Now”

Religion Does Not Equal Morality

Cover your eyes, and count to one hundred against the old oak tree in your backyard Do you know who you seek? Your liberal grand-daughter, raised Roman-Catholic, now engaged to a Muslim who works for a mulatto family back in the city you’d left behind to save your religion But you weren’t listening, or FatherContinue reading “Religion Does Not Equal Morality”

Stupid Girl (the song I was listening to when I wrote this)

I win some, I lose some; I win more than I lose–I lose a follower, I gain three. Fuck you very much. I’m not a gambler, I’m just honest, and for me, honesty is never a wager I’m afraid to bet on. I know I often rub people the wrong way, and I’m totally good withContinue reading “Stupid Girl (the song I was listening to when I wrote this)”

Racist Bible Thumpers

I respect, and do defend the First Amendment. All of you KKK motherfuckers, you have the right to publicly barf your hatred. You can march with your swastika flags and Confederate flags all you like, but the real Americans with functioning brains are on to you hillbilly motherfuckers. I can generalize you all as hillbillyContinue reading “Racist Bible Thumpers”

I Wish I Could Like, I Don’t Know, Burn His Blog Down, Or Something. LOL

“I wish I could like, I don’t know, burn his blog down, or something. LOL” “Hahahaha. Oh go on, write a blog with that title. X” “Hahaha! Yeah, that whole thing as a title lol” “Yeah, the whole thing, lol” I’ve been a blogger under various variations of my name, as well as a fewContinue reading “I Wish I Could Like, I Don’t Know, Burn His Blog Down, Or Something. LOL”

America Isn’t Awesome

Entertainment is King. In the United States, game shows are prime. Answer a series of questions correctly, and you could win hundreds of thousands of dollars–maybe a million. Okay, so most game show contestants only walk away with thousands before taxes, depending on the game show. It’s fucking gross though; we have politicians fighting overContinue reading “America Isn’t Awesome”

Child Death-by-Car

Twelve children nationwide had died in unattended vehicles this year before the official start of summer. Now car manufacturers are talking about equipping new models with a sensor to remind the fucking grown-ups to check the backseat for children before exiting the car. There have been devices on the market for a number of years,Continue reading “Child Death-by-Car”

State of Affairs

[Preface: I am a patriotic woman; the proud wife of an ARMY veteran.] There are actual rules to safeguard against unfair warfare. Read that again: There are actual rules to safeguard against unfair warfare. I’m sorry. Color me fucking stupid, but what’s the point of these rules? There are weapons that are illegal in warfare. Weapons suchContinue reading “State of Affairs”

The Trouble With Fuck Faces: part two

The Trouble With Fuck Faces: part one [Fuck faces are everywhere–you know, those special groups of people who’ve been slugged in the face with a heavy bag full of fuck, and they’ve allowed that fuck to fuck up their lives forever. Their sole purpose becomes spreading the disease. They’re similar to dickheads, who run aroundContinue reading “The Trouble With Fuck Faces: part two”