A Radical Proposal

Sickness hovers heavy over America–the political and religious vitriol, explosive diarrhea. Civil liberties and the pursuit for more have only upset the belly of this great nation. Eliminate freedom, and be rid of the shit storm. Simple.

Let us formally unite the church and state, and embrace a government dictated by Christian theocracy. I propose we all live under Conservative Evangelical rule. First we would eradicate all non-christian religion. Buh-bye, Jews–round two. Same goes for you, Native Americans. Buh-bye Muslims–you all hate America anyway. Atheists, you get the fuck out, too–you worship Satan. And Mexicans, well, a lot of you may be Christians, but we just don’t like you–you steal American jobs from all of the Americans lined up for the opportunity to pick apples for obscenely low wages.

Next, the removal of the sciences from public school, because science was created by Satan in order to propagate the myths of evolution and the existence of dinosaurs; the overturning of the SCOTUS ruling in favor of gay marriage, because gays–yuck, they’re only sub-human; the banning of contraceptives, and sex education in schools, because both of these evils just encourage teen sex, and sex out of wedlock; and the banning of abortions, especially, because women who seek abortions are godless whores, and initiate rape.

I know this is a radical proposal–a proposal that may cause worry. But fear not, and trust we will all be much safer and happier, surrounded by our own God blessed kind, behind the great Trump wall with every Tom, Dick, and Harry American citizen armed and loaded–because the one thing we’ve done right is to ensure every American has access to firearms.




Published by Kindra M. Austin

Author of fiction, poetry, and very sweary social commentary. Editor, and co-founder of Indie Blu(e) Publishing. Co-founder of Blood Into Ink, and Heretics, Lovers, and Madmen.

23 thoughts on “A Radical Proposal

  1. I thought the fever-dreams of the most floridly imaginative apocalypse-mongering sectarian fundamentalist could never find a match; I encourage you to sweat out the fever. ;-p

    Thank God we have separation of powers in the U.S. This means that, even if the most vile creature gets into office, they can’t do very much, because they need to build a consensus and a coalition to get much of anything done, and the alliances or enmities tend to be temporary, anyway. Procedures rule, not people. (They just get to skim money and hire friends for lots of jobs, and favor legislation that needs to go through other channels, anyway.)

    Take heart! Even the worst-case scenario won’t be this bad. Really. It can’t happen. The areas with the most money and power are the coasts, and though there are plenty of religious folks here, they/we are really –really– not politically interested in a theocracy, but are rather politically interested in a stable economy, decent healthcare for everyone, and a good night’s sleep (so a reasonable curfew, you damn hipsters!). It’ll be OK.

    That said, there’s a lot of work to be done to shore up institutions –especially the schools– that can produce the kinds of people that can engage in compromise and conversation and negotiate a shared identity that can accommodate different tribes and religions and identities, but which does not annihilate any of them; the alternative, as we see today in so many quarters, is to retreat into tribes or sects or identity politics and rip apart the Leviathan that we’ve so carefully crafted in order to protect ourselves from Hobbes’ state of nature. That will happen from the bottom up, sister, not from the top down.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Nicely put, it’s all a bit bewildering. Sadly, it’s not much better this side of the Atlantic either. Perhaps we’ve all got a bit too complacent in our assumptions, all this fear and hatred hasn’t popped up over night. Seems like it’s just got a flagship now. All we can do is be the change babe.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. A bit hyperbolic for such a nuanced issue, no? And you could easily write the same post with Hillary’s name and describe the same sickness in US politics where Americans want freebies, gimmes and nanny government rather than freedom that isn’t easy and requires personal responsibilities. That said, while I likely disagree with you politically I like your bookish ways so I’ll happily give a passionate wave and move on to your next brilliant poem. That’s what’s beautiful about America, that freedom so many on both sides would sacrifice at the alter of the religion of Political Correctness or Self Righteous Religiosity.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I would like to say that this one satire does not lend a fair view of my political views. You might be surprised by me, who knows? What’s important is that I value your opinion–I respect it.

      Liked by 1 person

          1. I think Gary Johnson could be good, the gotchya Aleepo deal makes him no more or less qualified than what the DNC puts out. Look at Palin on the RNC or Crazy Uncle Joe (Biden) on the DNC. His response to the situation writ large was spot on. We don’t need to meddle in foreign affairs. We don’t need to go abroad looking for dragons to slay. He might not win, but hopefully the ideas will take hold.

            Liked by 1 person

          2. I’m glad you mentioned Gary Johnson. Both my daughter and I are looking at him as our votes. You are right. Just because he fumbled over Aleepo does not mean he isn’t qualified. I am not a fan of Trump, and I won’t vote for Hilary.

            Liked by 1 person

          1. Well at least Im in good company! Im sure you are not at a loss much in life either! We would be holding hands right now saying ‘oh shit!’ im pretty sure if we were neighbors 🙂

            Liked by 1 person

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